“I wanted to write about leaving. About leaving him. About leaving pain behind. I wanted to characterise it as an act of bravery; as an act of freedom. The writer in me wanted to turn it into something beautiful. But the truth is it wasn’t beautiful. It was just leaving, it was just leaving. It was just walking away with a throat full of pebbles and trying not to choke.”
This is one of those nights where I’m struggling to keep my emotions at bay, and just felt like spilling it all for people to see.
I’ve always told myself that I wanted a life without regrets, one that I can look back upon without regretting a single thing/decision I made. But guess what, it must be impossible.
I’ve come to believe that each of us has a personal calling that’s as unique as a fingerprint - and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard, and also allowing the energy of the universe to lead you
maybe, maybe not. even if everything we as humans ever did was irrelevant in the grand scheme of “the end”, everything and everyone is still necessary and balance out the divinity of the universe. so i guess what i’m saying is… whether you think life is meaningless or it’s not, you were put here to do whatever you end up doing, be that big or small.
but i feel you, i’m crippled by the knowledge that i put myself through suffering to “accomplish something useful”, even though in 1,000 years nobody will even remember my name. it’s a weird, quite depressing idea if you really expand on it, and resonate with it.
PSA: Cellulite and stretch marks are normal. The only reason we’ve been told that they’re not is because companies want to sell you products to reduce, minimize, or eliminate these very natural body characteristics. Your body is not a photoshop picture. Stop beating yourself up for being human.
